THIS STORY IS A PARODY. X-Men are owned by Marvel Comics. This is a not for profit story. No one under eighteen should read this story.

THE CREW

Part 2

Saturday 10:00AM

After spying on the X-Men for most of the morning, we drove back. Hooker spent the rest of the day surfing the net as only he could, breaking in to secure sites, and checking out the news groups; gather all the data he could about the X-Men in general and these seven in particular. At around midnight, he called Dorsey and told him he was ready. Dorsey called a meeting for the next morning. Hooker began by telling us about these particular X-Men, their powers and about Storm's plan to trap us.

"This isn't going to be as hard as I thought," Hooker announced. That bought a smile to Perry's face.

"Why," asked Dorsey.

"Because two of the X-Men we're going up against lost their mutant powers."

"Come again?"

"They were in some battle a few months ago. These two, Rogue and Gambit got their genome scrambled. Right now their powers are not working."

"So why are they getting involved?" asked Cruz.

"They volunteered. They took a leave of absence when it happened, now they feel like coming back."

"Shit, these people must think taking us on is going to be a walk in the mall," Perry said.

"Pryde says she doesn't think we're anything they can't handle," I told him.

"Fuck, I got something she can't handle right here," he said as he grabbed his crotch.

"Don't get overconfident," Hooker added. "These two are suppose to be great martial artists, especially Gambit, who is a grand master with the staff and don't forget the other five still have their mutant powers and they're mega mutants."

"Has Sage planted the fake shipping data yet?" Dorsey asked.

"Yeah, in the middle of night. A shipment of computer chips is set for next Tuesday. She put the insurance at eight hundred fifty thousand."

"Pity it's not real," smiled Cruz.

"Alright so we have an opportunity here," Dorsey said. "They don't know we know, so it's a perfect setup."

"The only question I have is what do you want do?" asked Hooker. "Are we going to iced them?"

"No, if we killed them every X-Men in the world is going to be after us. I want to humiliate them. I want to show everybody the X-Men are not the high and mighty mutant police they think they are. I want to kick their fucking asses then spit and piss on them."

"Well damn Harry, don't hold back, tell us what you really want," Hooker said as he stared at Dorsey. "Ok, we got a few days. I'll get a plan ready."

TUESDAY 5:32AM

Bishop pulled the Peterbuilt tractor-trailer out of the dock area, through the gate and on to the freeway. Inside the trailer Gambit, Rogue and Shadowcat sat quietly waiting. Storm and Cannonball took to the air and Sage revied up her cycle, falling about half a mile behind. What they didn't know was two hours earlier Hooker and me sneaked in to the yard and planted a homing transmitter in the truck. We put it inside the cab and we were out of there in ten minutes. The transmitter would not be on constantly because Hooker was worried Sage might detect it, we turned it on only about three times during the morning to get a fix on their position. We really didn't need it; Sage put the truck route on the networks to make it easy for us. We just wanted to make sure there were no surprises. Since the X-Men wanted us to hit them they planned a route with plenty of possible areas for a hi-jacking. They made it tempting. Also they wanted secluded areas along the route where they could fight a battle with us without risking innocent bystanders or a lot of property damage. They chose quiet back roads away from towns and any heavy activity. Dorsey and Hooker spent Monday scouting over that route and selected what they felt was a perfect spot. On Monday night Dorsey gave us the final briefing and walk through. Now all we had to do is wait for the X-Men to get here. It took them about an hour and change before Perry saw them through his binoculars. He signaled us.

This is when the nerves in my stomach start to jump. For the past hour it was just anticipation, now, just before we do it, the nervous energy flowed through my body like high voltage. It was usually like this but today was worst because it's different. We knew we were waiting for the biggest battle of our lives. If it went as planned we were confidant we'd win, if Dorsey and Hooker's plan broke down and it became a free for all, we'd probably lose. I wasn't the only one; we all start to get the shakes at this point. Dorsey always reties his books to make sure they don't come lose, that's his nervous habit, Hooker does some stretching and Cruz starts humming the song 'Renegade.' It's a rush and we all love it. The money is great, especially since most of us had very little to begin with, but this rush has become the main reason we keep doing it. There's nothing in the world like living life on the edge, nothing! The rush is the juice, especially for Hooker, who actually needs it.

We all got in to positions. Dorsey signaled Perry and we were set. We knew either Cannonball or Storm would fly ahead and scouting ahead while the other one remained behind, so we were out of sight. We were right, in few minutes Cannonball flew overhead, Hooker assured us we were not seen. Three minutes later the truck came around the bend. Now the timing was tricky, we had to wait until the truck was in the right position for Perry, but we also had to hit it before Sage could detect us. I tried to calm my breathing. The timing was not my problem that was something for Dorsey and Hooker to worry about; they had my complete confidence. Hooker and me hide in the same spot, I looked at him. No fear or nerves I could see, just iron concentration, but I knew inside he was feeling high; this is what he lived for. I was at the point where I want to get started, enough waiting. It finally came, Hooker's voice in my mind, all our minds, "Go!" My nerves then just vanished. We were in play.

Dorsey was first, he sent out an EM pulse that killed the ignition, and then engaged the truck's breaks. These big rigs don't stop on a dime, especially without gearing down. Even after you apply the breaks, it takes a good distance to come to a halt. Dorsey had done this before so he knew how to calculated it. When the truck did come to a stop Hooker and me came out, pointing shotguns at Bishop. I ordered him out of the cab. Bishop played along, making believe he was some helpless driver who was willing to cooperate. Their plan was to wait until all five of us were in plain sight, and then when we open the trailer, Gambit, Rogue and Shadowcat would pop out and surprise us in close combat. Bishop, who is a shooter, would take one or more of us out with his concussion beams. Storm, Cannonball and Sage would move in and mop up. Our plan was the opposite; we wanted to take down the outside X-Men before engaging the once inside. The second Bishop stepped out of the cab, he was out in the open and that was what Perry was waiting for. With his superior senses and his perfect eyesight, he's our best sniper. He was on the rocks above the road with a rifle. Only this rifle didn't have bullets, it had dart filled with a fast acting tranquilizer Hooker assured us could drop a rhino. Perry put the dart exactly at the base of Bishops neck. A surprised Bishop shot his arm up to where the dart hit, pull it out, stared at it and even sniffed it. Hooker reading his mind and passing it along, letting us know what Bishop was thinking. He knew we had never shot a driver before and he was able to identify the drug being used. He instantly realized something was wrong and his first thought was to warn the other. This was a problem since it would take a couple of minutes for the dart to take full effect. It was my job to keep Bishop busy while the drug did its work. I ran toward him with my shotgun aimed at his face, I wanted him to think I was going to shoot him. It worked, he pointed his arm at me and fired a beam. I phased and the beam went through me. Bishop looked confuse, the drug was starting to take effect. I kept at him, he fired again and again I phased letting the energy beam pass through me harmlessly.

From the sky to our south, we could see Storm was diving on us. Dorsey and Cruz stood in the middle of the road waiting for her. She pulled short, straightens up and fired lighting at them. At that moment, Dorsey let loose with a powerful EM pulse. Shooting lighting at someone who can manipulate electro-magnetic energy is never a good idea. Dorsey's pulse redirected Storm's lighting right back at her, hitting her square in the chest. She wore some sort of protective suit, which kept her from getting burned, but it didn't save her nervous system from getting whacked. She passed out and dropped like rock straight for the payment. She was lucky, Cruz caught her like she was a rage dolls. With that smile of his he dangled the unconscious Storm by the scurf of her neck and said, "Hey look, it's raining bitches."

Dorsey rolled his eyes and said, "Keep your mind on the game."

Bishop's legs buckled and he was on the ground but not yet out. He didn't look like he was in any condition to fire again, but I decided to help the drug alone, I solidify, pulled a syringe from my pocket and gave him another shot in his shoulder. That did it; less then a thirty seconds later, he was out. I figured he'd sleep for a year. Cannonball became visible coming in from the north and we could hear the roar of Sage's engine getting closer. Hooker put out some telepathic chatter for her to pick up. He wanted to distract her so she wouldn't detect Perry. Dorsey sent a pulse at her cycle that killed the ignitions. She came to stop and for a second froze. That second was all Perry needed, he fired, hitting her in the same spot on the neck he got Bishop. She was nowhere near as big as Bishop so the drug took effect sooner. She tried to run but her balance was gone, she weaved like a drunken whore on Sunset Boulevard and collapsed after a few feet.

Cannonball was heading straight for us like a Tomahawk missile. His aim was to mow us down like bowling pins. Hooker's telepathy is not powerful enough to control anybody's mind, but he is capable of distorting perceptions a bit, and that's what he was did to Cannonball, causing him to overshoot us and crash on the side of the road several feet behind us. As he rose, his blast shield protecting him from any injury, I could sense, through Hooker, that he was getting ready to try again, but Hooker reached in to his mind and shut off his blast shield. That made him vulnerable, Perry took another shot and again found his mark. Meanwhile Cruz went for the back of the truck, opening it. Out jumped Gambit and Rogue going straight for him. Shadowcat didn't need the door, she phased out through the side of the truck. Hooker moved to engage her. Gambit and Rogue both bounced off of Cruz, as if they ran in to a concrete wall. They recovered and went after him again. Rogue got to him first and sent a perfect kick to his balls. Isn't that like just like a girl? The problem was that the only thing kicking Cruz in balls did was tickled him. With a pleasant smile he backhanded Rogue and sent her to the ground. Gambit tried to hit Cruz on the side of the head with his staff. Cruz blocked it with one arm and swung the other, breaking the staff in two. Nobody ever gives Cruz credit for his amazing reflexes. He punched Gambit in face. If he had use anywhere near his full strength he would have crushed his skull in to powder, but Dorsey said no killing, so he used only a fraction, but it was enough to knock Gambit out cold. Perry once nicknamed Cruz's light punches instant concussions. Rogue was dazed by Cruz's backhand but not out. As she tried to rise, Cruz picked her up by her neck, like he did earlier with Storm. She kicked and struggled but no use, Cruz stood there like a statue, just smiling at her. Shadowcat landed at the side of the truck and faced Hooker. Hooker reached in to her mind and shut down her mutant power. She was solid, unable to phase, but she wasn't worried, she was a good hand-to-hand fighter; but so was Hooker. What you have to understand about Hooker is there is a bad side effect to his mutant power; a weird form of hyperactivity. He had a low tolerance for boredom, the routine and the mundane. His mind is constantly working at high speeds and intensity, which is why he loves the rush more then the rest of us. To combat all this hyper energy he became a workout junkie; intense, high-energy workouts six days a week, alternating between weights one day and Kung Fu the other. It helps him focus mentally and to burn off all his excess energy. It also allows him to sleep four hours a night, which according to him, is an improvement. He's been doing this since he was twelve. The end result is, physically, he's in the best shape of all of us. Perry has more agility, Cruz is stronger, but Hooker has the best technique and form. Hooker also had another edge in a hand-to-hand fighting; his telepathy and cyberpathy. He reads what his opponent is going to do and processes the information in nanoseconds, reacting to it immediately. Shadowcat threw a perfect kick to Hooker's head, he ducked below it and swept her other leg out from under her, she landed on her ass. She quickly bounced back up to her feet and attacked him, but every punch she threw, he precisely blocked it. By the look on his face you could tell he was enjoying it. Finally after several seconds of playing with her, he hooked one of her arms, twisted her around and put her in a hold she couldn't break out of. He again swept her off her feet and put her face down on the ground. She struggle but couldn't break free. Dorsey casually walked up to them, pulled out a syringe and injected her. She continued to struggle in Hooker's hold, which made the drug work faster, until she passed out. Hooker let her go, slapped her on the ass and said, "Nice foreplay, Babe. You really know how to turn a guy on."

Dorsey then injected Rogue whom Cruz had wrapped his arm around her chest, holding her sideways under his arm, like a loaf of bread. She too continued to struggle until she too went limp. I walked over and injected both Storm and Gambit. Even though they were both out, we weren't taking any chances. And just like that it was over.

I felt both a sense of relief and euphoria. I couldn't believe it, we did it, we beat the X-Men. I took long looks at them lying on the ground, literally at our mercy. Perry came down the hill, big smile on his face and patted Hooker on the shoulder. "What were you so worried about? I told you they were overrated," he laughed.

Hooker smiled back. "Feels good when a plan comes together."

Cruz was enjoying himself pressing a limp Rogue over his head with one arm. We all felt like celebrating but Dorsey bought us out of it. "Too early to party. Let get it all squared away, fast."

We loaded the women in the back of the trailer. Cruz also loaded Sage's cycle. We took the three men and carried them to the middle of a field on the side of the road and covered them with brush; we didn't want any passing motorists disturbing them. Hooker said they should all be out for at least eight hours. Perry, the only one of us who knew how to drive a rig, started the truck; Dorsey sat in cab next to him. Hooker, Cruz and me got in the back with the unconscious women and off we went. The three of us sat on the floor. Cruz stared at the women lying there. "These are some prime pieces of pussy," he said as he took a squeeze of Storm's ass.

I looked at Hooker. "What does Harry want to do with them?"

Hooker shook his head. "He didn't say. Whatever he's got planned, he's keeping it to himself." Hooker wouldn't read any of our minds, out of respect; he didn't intrude on our privacy. He reached over, took Sage's red shade and looked them over. He had a pair he used that looked just them; he started comparing them. I was starting to come down from the rush and feeling tired. It had been a long morning and it was starting to catch up with me; I dozed off for the rest of the trip.

It took us an hour to get to a warehouse near Palmdale. Perry drove the rig inside and Dorsey closed the door behind us. The rest of us got down and Dorsey led us to a room in a basement. In there were two king size beds, heavy lighting and digital photography equipment.

"Gentlemen," Dorsey smiled. "We're getting in to the photography business and we need a portfolio. We're here to create one. It'll be called 'Xavier's Harem Let's It All Hang Out, Free And Easy.' I have a feeling it's going to be a best seller."

TO BE CONTINUED